


Pain in the Neck

by Roucarnage



Category: Naruto
Genre: Human/Vampire Relationship, Love Bites, M/M, NSFW, Smut, Tumblr Prompt, Yaoi, sweet as candy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:08:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29634417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roucarnage/pseuds/Roucarnage
Summary: Kakuzu is a vampire hunter with a knack for figuring out where the bloodsuckers like to hide themselves, much to the praise of his fellow hunters in the Akatsuki Hunting Club. What they don't know is he's getting the information from an inside source, for a price.
Relationships: Hidan/Kakuzu (Naruto)
Kudos: 28
Collections: Naruto Smut Monday 2021





	Pain in the Neck

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyy, it's that time of the month again: a Tumblr Prompt! This month it was "Sweet as Candy/Love Bites". So, I decided vampires? I'm been playing Vampyr (good fucking game, give it a try). Yaoi again since I've decided to stick to that for these prompts. Also, no beta so please excuse any jank. K Bye.

It was past when the clock struck midnight, did the Akatsuki Hunting Club lumber into their dimly-lit headquarters, bloodied, bruised but nonetheless, successful once again.

“Congratulations on another perfect hunt, everyone,” Pein lauded his men (and female partner) as they, including himself, scrambled to their lockers to yank off their crimson dyed outer clothing and deposit their stakes and crosses. Looked like the laundromat was getting a large order from them tomorrow—again.

“Bloody ‘ell, that lil’ blonde brat bit me ‘ard!” Sasori moaned, looking over himself in the mirror attached to his compartment door and the fresh bite to his neck still oozing blood.

“Look out, everyone, Sasori got bit!” Kisame heckled obnoxiously.

“Fuck off, Kisame. That ain’t ‘ow vampirism works but if it did, we all know you’d be the first to turn into one of them wretches.”

Kisame shrugged off his leather jacket and dumping it into the cart Konan was wheeling by to be taken to the cleaners. “What can I say? I’ve got a weakness for pretty women,” He said, kneading the old bite mark on his own neck while beaming, one may say pridefully so.

“You mean that one wit’ black ‘air an’ fuck-me eyes? Yeah, pretty sure that was man.” Sasori indicated, chucking his own waistcoat and pants into the barrow with one hand while using the other to press gauze to his neck and grumbling to himself about, “’lil blonde, blue-eyed leech shits”.

“Then I’ve got a weakness for pretty men! I’d happily let him take bite outta me again.”

“Well, if ya ever turn, I’ll ‘appily put a stake in yer chest.”

“Aww, thank you, buddy. I’d do the same for you too.”

Once her partner and two other men had finished putting their dirty dress into the handcart, Konan pushed it to the last member who was quietly dressing himself to fresh clothing, his own bloodied clothing laid out on the bench he was seated on. “Kakuzu, congratulations on the hunt. That information you gave us was a hundred-percent.” She said to the tanned man as she picked up the garments.

“Ah, yes! Kakuzu, brilliant surveillance once again.” Pein praised him also after totally not forgetting to, oh no. “Because of you, the Akatsuki earns their place as the organization with the highest kill count.”

“Yeah, seriously, Kakuzu, how the fuck do you keep figuring out where these bloodsuckers are camping out? I’m starting to suspect you may be one!” Kisame jested, pulling on his derby and overcoat for his walk home during this wet, midsummer London night.

“Er ‘e’s fuckin’ one.” Sasori cackled.

Kakuzu put on his leather trench coat. “If I was a bloodsucking fuck with a sun allergy, an old theater would be the perfect place for me to squat. It’s just fucking obvious.”

“Well, whatever your secret may be, thanks to you, London can rest a little easier tonight. And to all you, gentleman, may you have a good night and safe walk home.” Pein ushered at Konan to join him and together, the two partners left the building to go home and check on their childhood friend, Nagato, who they had left with his caretaker. Everyone else weren’t far off as Kakuzu left while Kisame and Sasori stayed back to lock up.

“Oi, Kakuzu!” Kakuzu paused in his walking, turning his head to acknowledge he was listening though not looking at the other two men through the darkness of his sunglasses he was wearing at night. “We’re ‘eadin’ to the pub, ya wanna join us fer a pint?” Kakuzu didn’t confirm or deny, instead, he kept walking.

“Maybe he _is_ a vampire.” Kisame mumbled, earning an immediately dirty look from Sasori.

“Wut? ‘cause it ain’t blood? Yer a dumbarse an’ that fuckin’ vampire must’ve sucked out yer brains, wut lil’ ya ‘ad! Now I really need a drink ‘cause that lil’ shit an’ you!” He pushed past the darker man in the direction of the nearest pub while Kisame tailed him, laughing to himself at the angry redhead’s overreactions.

Meanwhile, Kakuzu walked himself home through the wet streets of downtown London, empty of any other souls—living souls, that is. He was being watched. He knew that, the other person knew he knew that but he kept walking, owning no fear of the presence skulking in the darkness.

Once back at his humble manor, he unlocked the door and entered though he may’ve “forgotten” to lock the door behind him. He did? He couldn’t remember, damned his old brain. It was as he trekked up the stairs to the master bedroom that he heard the telltale noise of the door being opened and shut upon another person’s entrance though he didn’t acknowledge it or them—yet. Instead, he first shrugged off his jacket and hung it up with his hat and sunglasses while his guest entered in the background. Finally, once he was comfortable, did he glance at his undead acquaintance who had seated himself on the king-sized bed, laid down on the crimson blanketing that replicated a sea of blood.

“Sooo…” The albino man started, smiling which exhibited his canines. “How’d it go?”

“Brilliant,” Kakuzu said, brushing a hand through his hair to check no blood had dried in the dark strands to gage if a shower could wait until morning. “I passed on the information you gave me about that old theater, and we had a perfect hunt. We must’ve taken out at least a dozen of those bastards, but I made sure your little friend got out, even after he bit Sasori.”

“Who? Blue? Ha! Blondie was talkin’ ‘bout takin’ a bite outta him for the longest time but I didn’t think he’d do it! I’ll hafta ask him later how he tasted if he don’t go ‘bout it like Pink Eye does ‘bout that big, ugly brute y’all got wit’ you. Seriously, he don’t stop wit’ it, comparin’ him to a ‘wine aged to perfection’ like I know wut that means. I ain’t drank wine, even when I was human. That shit is expensive.”

“You’re in a talkative mood tonight, Hidan.” Kakuzu said, tying back his hair and finally turning to the vampire with his arms crossed.

“Whatchu expect? You don’t fuck wit’ me ‘til I got info for your lil’ huntin’ party. I ain’t talked to you in weeks,” Hidan moaned, jumping off the mattress, much to Kakuzu’s displeasure due to the expensive bed frame, and walked to the hunter, wrapping his arms around the man’s midsection and looking up at him. “Speakin’ of which, I gave you information an’ it was good. I think I’m due payment, ey?” He grinned again, sharpened teeth gleaming eerily in the candlelight.

“That you do,” Kakuzu confirmed, as much as he hated that, the initial part of it, at least. “I’m just curious though. Do you ever feel guilty for what you’re doing?”

“Whatchu mean?”

“Selling out your brethren to hunters for a little suck and fuck?”

To this, Hidan chuckled. “Oh please! I don’t give a fuck ‘bout them. ‘Cept Blondie and Pink Eye, but the heathens, the lot of them! They reject Jashin, the God that blessed them with this immortality and so he sired me to punish them! They deserve to die if ya ask me an’ I’m just carryin’ out Jashin’s will.” Kakuzu said nothing, especially not the fact he had never heard of this “Jashin” nor his hand in making vampires and this would be a thing he personally would definitely know being a person in the vampire hunting business for thirty plus years. “Now lemme ask you, are you feelin’ guilty for fuckin’ a vampire?”

Kakuzu gifted him a flat look. “Touché.”

“That’s wut I thought. Now ‘nuff talkin’! I’m hungry an’ horny as shit!”

“Fine, fine! Just let me sit down first.” Hidan obliged, letting go of Kakuzu so he may walk himself over to his bed.

Once his backend met the the mattress, however, Hidan was on him again, straddling his lap and pawing at the turtleneck Kakuzu wore. Understanding, Kakuzu tugged down the collar, flashing the bare neck underneath to the leech which was littered with old bite scars from their affair past. Despite how “starved” Hidan claimed himself to be, he didn’t dine yet. Instead, he teased the other man, lapping at the disfigurements in the flesh and brushing his canines against them, making Kakuzu shiver.

“Hidan.” Kakuzu snarled after only moments of this.

Hidan clicked his tongue against his teeth in dismissal. “Tch, I’m just teasin’ wit’cha a lil’! It’s called ‘foreplay’.”

“No, it’s called ‘torture’ because you know how much I hate this part so get on with it so I can show you what ‘foreplay’ is.” Yes, he hated it, but if it kept him from feasting from anyone else and got him information on vampire locations, he could take it, like getting an injection except nothing like that.

“Ohh, that a threat er a promise?” Kakuzu didn’t have a chance to confirm or deny either as Hidan finally feasted, biting down onto his prey’s pulse where the blood ran thickest and richest.

Despite his damndest, Kakuzu grimaced, squeezing shut his eyes and gritting his teeth as the immoral dredged fangs into his flesh. He wasn’t a man which crumbled easily to pain but this—this was a special type of pain, especially once Hidan started drinking, slurping up the crimson liquid from his veins like it were wine—if he ever had it, that is. All while the albino purred and kneading the elder’s chest with his curved nails not unlike a feline. It didn’t take long until Kakuzu experienced the telltale signs of anemia with the weakness beginning in his legs and traveling upwards, leaving every nerve tingling as if asleep and his head light.

“Hidan,” He mumbled, nudging the vampire who initially paid no heed to his declining condition as he kept nursing. “Hidan!”

Finally, Hidan pulled his mouth from Kakuzu’s neck with a wet popping noise, his lips and chin smeared red. “What?”

“You’re taking too much!”

“Sorry, sorry, it’s been _forever,_ and I just can’t git ‘nuff of ya. Yer blood is delicious and sweet like…like candy! Yeah, that’s it. Makes me nostalgic fer my childhood when my ma gave me a penny fer a piece of candy.” While saying this, Hidan unconsciously leant back in and Kakuzu slapped a hand over the oozing bite to prevent any further letting, much to his partner’s displeasure.

“You’ve had enough,” Kakuzu said and as an example, ushered at the obvious bulge in Hidan’s pants, made up from his own pilfered blood.

“Tch, you right, you right.” And with that, he backed off, letting Kakuzu pull up the turtleneck back up, the fabric of which sponged up the bleeding from his latest gnawing. “Now hurry up an’ fuck me!”

“Wait, would you? How do you expect me to fuck you when I’m not hard yet?”

“What? Whatchu mean ya ain’t hard yet?” Hidan asked then tested it himself as he grabbed at the hunter’s crouch, finding no indication of hardness inside his slacks, to his disappointment.

Kakuzu pushed his hand off as he undid his buckle. “It is as I said. Unlike you, I don’t have a blood fetish.”

“Ain’t a fetish, I’m a vampire,” Hidan grumbled while puffing out his cheeks, not unlike a child. “Want to give ya a handie?”

“Fuck no. Your hands are freezing.”

“Whatchu expect? I’m fuckin’ dead. What ‘bout I suck ya off?”

“Why, so you can suck me dry?” Kakuzu asked sarcastically, pulling his flaccid member out of his drawers and rubbing it, leaning back onto his hand while he huffed pleasantly through his nose, eyes fallen shut.

“Yes, but no! C’mon, lemme do it. I git so fuckin’ bored watchin’ ya git yerself off.” Hidan pleaded, wriggling impatiently in the man’s lap which was making it borderline impossible to focus on himself, especially once Hidan started tugging at his hand with his own previously mentioned freezing one. If there was one thing about Kakuzu, he wasn’t a man of patience, so it only took a little bit of the other’s shenanigans to test him.

To this, he threw his hands up, literally. “Fine! But if you bite me…”

“I ain’t, I ain’t,” Hidan promised, clamouring down from Kakuzu’s lap in favour of hunching between his legs.

He grabbed the man’s squishy manhood in his hand though realized immediately that was a bad idea as Kakuzu physically trembled and the cold was a guarantee method of how to prevent an erection. So, letting him go, Hidan opted to swallowing him down instead. Kakuzu shivered again, but this time, it was from how hot and wet the mouth on him was, a straight contradiction when speaking of the likes of a cold, dead vampire but it was true; a fact he never thought he’d learn so personally in his career. Needless to say, it didn’t take too long until his erection spawned to life, something Hidan learned the hard way as he gagged a little on the pulsating organ wedged in his throat, making him thankful he was already dead and therefore, couldn’t die again by suffocating to death on a dick.

Kakuzu didn’t let him up either as, burying a hand in the vampire’s silver hair, he pushed his head down, forcefeeding him the last few inches he couldn’t get down until his face was flush with his crouch. Predictably, Hidan struggled, trying to back off but Kakuzu held him in place, taking a sadistic pleasure in the way his throat laboured around him and at its delicious tightness. Though, not as tight as Hidan himself. Hidan glared up at him through watering eyes and Kakuzu just smirked back.

Eventually, Hidan must’ve gotten the picture that the tanned man wasn’t letting him up anytime soon so instead of fighting it, he embraced it, relaxing his throat and humming a tune, sending pleasant vibrations through the hard-on. Kakuzu groaned, pleased with his obedience. Despite this, he didn’t let him go—yet. Instead, using his hair to cement his head in place, Kakuzu took to thrusting himself down his throat, not too hard so not to punch a hole through it, but hard enough he felt it tighten on him while Hidan gagged as if threatening to vomit on him. But he didn’t or couldn’t. Ok, maybe Kakuzu was wrong, this was a little better than fucking the albino himself and the way his fangs rubbed either side of his cock? _Perfection._

Finally, Kakuzu let up, only because he’d rather blow his load in the man’s ass instead of down his throat, and Hidan immediately pulled his mouth off the massive intrusion, coughing and hacking. He even belched as his late meal came crawling back up his throat a little and trust when he said, blood did not taste as good coming up.

“You…fuck!” He wheezed, using the sleeve of his old undershirt to dab at his leaking eyes and drool washed chin. “You coulda killed me!”

“Oh please, you’re already dead, Hidan,” Kakuzu deadpanned, standing up from the bed. “Now shut up and present yourself.”

Despite his grumbling, Hidan did as asked, stepping past the other and “presenting” him as he leant over, hands bracing his weight on the mattress. He glared back at him. “Why can’t I be on my back fer once?”

“Because I know you and I know if I let you face me, you’re going to bite me again.” Kakuzu justified, yanking down his partner’s trousers with one hand while he smeared the leftover saliva over his member with the other to be used as lubricant.

“Whatchu expect? Fuckin’ wit’ a vampire.”

“You know what? You’re right. You can be missionary and if you try to bite me again, it’ll be easier to stake you in the heart.”

Hidan gifted him a dubious look. “Ya serious ‘bout the missionary thing er the stakin’ part?”

Kakuzu stared back, his bloodshot from a medical condition taking on a sinister gaze in the darkish lighting. “Take a guess.” Knowing Kakuzu, it was likely the latter, but Hidan never claimed himself to be a smart man and due to this, he was believing it was the former.

“I’ll take my chances,” And with a shrug, Hidan turned over on his back, wrapping his arms around the hunter’s neck and using his weight to drag them both down onto the mattress and into a kiss despite knowing kisses were off limits.

Kakuzu didn’t like kisses, in fact, he hated them; too personal, too intimate but with Hidan? Maybe he could change his mind but that was nothing new with him and the silver-haired man. Once upon time, Kakuzu never thought himself ever having a relationship with a vampire nor dreamed it, but then he had the misfortune of encountering Hidan during a hunting siege and well, the rest was history. In the beginning, he justified it because Hidan passed him critical information in return of a free meal which eventually evolved into this. It was taboo. Kakuzu would certainly lose his job if anyone found out and yet…he just couldn’t quit him.

In the middle of the passionate exchange, Kakuzu had lined himself up and without warning or preparation, thrusted inside, making Hidan divorce their lips as he threw back his head to scream at the sudden intrusion.

“What the fuck, Kakuzu!? Give me a lil’ fuckin’ warnin’ next time!” He castigated the senior with what little breath he had left in his dead lungs.

“That’s for kissing me.” Kakuzu muttered, though he was lying to himself, to them both. He knew it and Hidan knew it. Thankfully, the other man didn’t capitalize on this fact.

Kakuzu hadn’t gotten himself all the way in the first time, Hidan being too tight and too dry for it, so it took one more thrust to get the last few inches inside. Once he was, he paused, letting out the longest drawn-out sigh through his nose at the heavenly heat enveloping him. In the process, he let them both get their bearings for a moment before he started moving. Despite the grand entrance, Kakuzu began sluggish, thrusting slow so Hidan could tailor himself to the larger man’s thick girth.

Due to his vampirism, Hidan had extraordinary healing abilities. The downside to that, however, was it also practically inversed him back to a virgin-like state after each time they fucked so his body never could get used to Kakuzu. Kakuzu, on the other hand, wasn’t complaining though since it left him so tight and new for him each and every time. It took a few minutes but sooner or later, he felt the other’s muscles relax around him and Hidan didn’t sound like he was near blacking out everytime he bucked into him.

“Harder,” Hidan demanded, lifting up his hips so the cock inside him could achieve deeper penetration. Though, if it went any deeper, it may end up in his organs being fucked. Kakuzu obligated because why wouldn’t he when asked so politely?

Grabbing his hips, Kakuzu folded Hidan in half so his knees met his chest and the angle let him fuck him harder and deeper as desired. In seconds, he had the vampire pathetically whimpering and whining, so unlike the “alpha predator” the press labeled his ilk. It tickled the hunter pink and egged him into hammering into him harder and harder, pushing out more of the cute, prey-like noises from him. In moments like this, he could even say that this ugly creature of the night underneath him, whom he had taken a life oath to eliminate, made him never want to kill another vampire again. Better fuck than any human he bedded, that’s for sure.

Hidan grabbed onto Kakuzu’s arms, digging his nails into the fabric of his sleeves. His eyes were watering again, pink orbs like two lustrous amethyst. “Harder!”

“With pleasure,” Kakuzu mumbled. Perhaps it was good thing Hidan was already dead because otherwise, Kakuzu may have a murder on his hands he could not explain.

And so, he fucked him, and fucked him harder and it became a test to see who would give out first: Hidan, or the bed. He didn’t have to question for long as Hidan suddenly grabbed his own manhood having hung hard and neglected between them this entire time and started jerking himself off desperately in tune with Kakuzu’s thrusting.

“…K-Kuzu…” Hidan whimpered, so weak and despondent, it was like music to Kakuzu’s ears. It made his erection twitch.

Seconds later, Hidan broadcasted his orgasm with a yell as he ejaculated, splashing himself in the face with his own cum, over the pillows and splattering onto the headboard. Kakuzu wasn’t even mad he would have to wash that all later as his partner’s finish had made him tighter, so impossible tight, and hotter. He wasn’t going to last much longer himself as the pleasure was white hot, spotting his vision with stars.

Sensing this, Hidan snatched Kakuzu’s neck, pulling him down and nuzzling his cold face into the tanned man’s neck. Kakuzu knew what was coming but it was in too deep, too close to stop it. Hidan bit him, _again_. He cringed at the burning sensation and stabbing pain as canines plunged into vein once again, but he didn’t break pace to push the bloodsucker off. In fact, the pain fueled the pleasure, pushing him that much further towards the edge. His own climax came like a slap to the fact, hard and out of the blue. So much so, muscles cemented themselves and with an uncharacteristic loud moan, he came inside the vampire. Hidan moaned against his neck he was suckling on at the intensity of the seed being pumped into him. Once it was all over, Hidan was left feeling so warm and full while Kakuzu was cold and empty.

“Hidan…” Kakuzu mumbled after a number of seconds, too weak to get up as he laid on the albino like a dead weight. “You bit me again…”

Hearing this, Hidan extracted his fangs, licking up the stray blood painting his lips and chin. “Sorry, but ya heard wut I said ‘bout ya. Ya gonna stake me fer it?” Kakuzu didn’t immediately reply, making him worry for the briefest of seconds that he may’ve taken too much and haphazardly sired his human lover into a vampire which would be just heartbreaking, for him that is.

Finally, Kakuzu let out a grand sigh that felt like it had left his very soul. “Next time. It’s in my jacket.”

Hidan pushed the elder off him and out of him, causing the elder to roll feather-like onto the mattress beside him instead. Once free, he wiped himself off (using Kakuzu's expensive bedding, mind you) and leapt up, pulling up his pants and smirking back at his exhausted prey. “I’m lookin’ forward to it. ‘Til next time, my dearest hunter.” With that, he was gone, having disappeared through the nearest window in a plume of dark smoke and leaving no evidence of his presence except a pain in the neck.

“Yes…until next time…” Kakuzu mumbled, laying for a while longer before getting himself up to tend to his wound. There would always be a next time with them.


End file.
